The Art of Asking over Telling

​In the professional services world, the inclination to tell rather than ask tends to be the norm in many conversations led by experts trying to win business from prospective clients. It is an automatic mode of communication for many subject matter experts (SMEs).

It seems logical. They want to be the person with all the answers, yet often before they understand the client's needs and problems. 

​In the professional services world, the inclination to tell rather than ask tends to be the norm in many conversations led by experts trying to win business from prospective clients. It is an automatic mode of communication for many subject matter experts (SMEs).

It seems logical. They want to be the person with all the answers, yet often before they understand the client's needs and problems. 

A classic sales approach for professionals is to dive right into the conversation talking about their qualifications, credentials, case studies, and services that they and their firm offer. And who knows, maybe the client will even choose a couple of services from the menu.

This is what I call an unsolicited pitch. A pitch that many buyers hear yet rarely appreciate. In fact, it is often a very effective way to turn that listener off and get them thinking about other things outside of the conversation.

They will ask for the pitch when they are ready for it, but first, they appreciate being heard. They would much rather have an engaging conversation with an SME who is truly interested in learning about their business first.  Even in solicited pitch scenarios, the potential buyer will appreciate a two-way conversation over a one-way information overload that may be more than they want to hear.

I attended a legal conference a few years ago where a panel of GCs was asked if they could share one of the better pitches they heard from a law firm.  One of the GCs of a prominent Silicon Valley company summed it up nicely. He said, “One of the best pitches I heard did not include a fancy 30-page PowerPoint deck stating all of the firm’s qualifications, rather a list of thoughtful questions. It showed me that they wanted to first learn how they could help before assuming how they could help.”

A confident and secure professional is one who can conduct a conversation without worrying about having all the answers.

Seth Godin recently said in one of his blogs;

“In an expert-run industrialized economy, there’s a lot of pressure to be the one who’s sure, the person with all the answers.

Far more valuable is someone who has all the questions. The ability to figure out what hasn’t been figured out and see what hasn’t been seen is a significant advantage.

Rarest of all is the person with the humility (and confidence) to realize that even the list of questions can remain elusive. Finding the right questions might be the very thing we need to do.”

Whenever I come across someone in a personal or professional conversation who feels inclined to talk about themselves for an unwelcomed long period of time, my first reaction is simple – “How do I get out of this conversation?” The other thoughts that come to mind about that person are insecurity and arrogance.
 
Over my career, I have learned more than once that talking too much about myself in an attempt to impress someone will most often backfire. The best way to avoid turning someone off is to follow the 80/20 rule – 80% listening and 20% talking. It seems straightforward but can be difficult in times of those important meetings.

The next time you have an important meeting with a prospective client remember those words from the GC at the Silicon Valley company. Ditch the fancy PowerPoint deck and come with a list of thoughtful questions.