​One of the biggest challenges in business development is not the outreach itself. It is what happens after you send it.

You reach out to someone you have been meaning to reconnect with.

You follow up after a good conversation.
You send an article or a quick note to stay in touch.
Then you hear nothing.

No reply. No acknowledgement. No clear signal that anything is happening.
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When that silence happens enough times, it can start to get in your head.

​I see this often with clients, and if I am being honest, it still happens to me too. I have been involved in business development for more than 35 years, and there are still moments when I have to push back against the little voice that starts asking, why has this person not responded?

Did I say something wrong?
Did I reach out at the wrong time?
Should I have waited?

The reality is that silence is part of the process.

People get busy. Priorities change. Emails pile up. Even when someone genuinely intends to respond, the day gets away from them. Most of the time, the lack of response has very little to do with you and everything to do with what is happening on their side.

In The Business Development Shift, I talk about how even very capable professionals can get stuck in their own heads when they are not getting immediate feedback. The absence of a quick response can create doubt, and doubt can slow momentum if we let it.

This is where consistency matters.

Business development is about staying visible in a professional way over time. Not every outreach will lead to an immediate conversation. Not every conversation will lead to an opportunity right away.

That does not mean the effort is wasted.

Some of the best opportunities develop after multiple touchpoints. Someone remembers that you stayed in contact. They remember that you showed interest in their business. They remember that you consistently showed up in a thoughtful way.

Often the reply comes later than expected.
Sometimes much later.

One of the things I remind myself, and my clients, is that we are playing a long game. Our job is to stay present in the market, continue reaching out in a professional manner, and trust that the right conversations will develop over time.

We cannot control when someone responds. We can control whether we continue showing up.

The professionals who build strong practices are not necessarily the ones who get immediate feedback every time. They are the ones who stay consistent even when the feedback loop is quiet.

They do not let the lack of response create a story that stops them from continuing the outreach.
They keep moving.

After 35 years in this field, I can tell you this with confidence: many of the relationships that have turned into meaningful work did not happen after the first outreach. They developed because there was steady, professional visibility over time.

That is the part we can control.

Stay consistent. Stay professional. Stay curious.

And try not to let the silence convince you that nothing is happening.
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Quite often, more is happening than you realize.

​Before AI tools became part of my workflow, I was spending a significant amount of time across many aspects of my work. Preparing for meetings, customizing proposals, following up after coaching conversations, researching companies and contacts, and rewriting emails to make sure the tone and message were right.

That preparation has always mattered to me because it leads to better conversations. It also takes time.

Over the past year, I have been experimenting with tools like ChatGPT, Claude, and meeting note platforms such as Fathom to better understand where they genuinely add value. The goal is not to shortcut the thinking process. The goal is to reduce the friction around getting started and capture information more effectively.

​These tools help me articulate ideas more clearly and stay more present in meetings. Instead of focusing on detailed note-taking, I can focus on the conversation itself. Instead of spending unnecessary time organizing background research or structuring follow-up emails, I can start with a strong foundation and refine from there.

The quality of the work has not changed. The time investment has become more focused.

One of the most valuable commodities in professional services is time. Time to prepare thoughtfully, follow up consistently, stay visible with the people who matter, and ask questions that demonstrate genuine curiosity.

Most of the professionals I work with do not struggle to understand the importance of business development. They struggle with finding the time to execute consistently.

AI can help address that challenge when used appropriately. It can help refine outreach emails, draft a first version of a proposal, summarize company developments before a meeting, organize research more efficiently, and capture meeting notes so you can stay fully engaged in the discussion.

None of this replaces the work of building trust. It creates more room to do it well.

In The Business Development Shift, I discuss how small systems help professionals stay consistent even when client demands are high. Many professionals do not need more motivation for business development. They need a structure that makes it easier to follow through. AI can serve as one of those structures when used thoughtfully.

Many professionals are still only beginning to explore AI tools. Firms are evaluating which tools they allow and how to balance innovation with client confidentiality. That is part of the process.

This technology will continue to improve. Professionals who learn to use it thoughtfully will have an advantage in managing their time and maintaining consistency in their business development efforts.

You do not need to master every tool. You do not need to change everything about how you work. Start small. Focus on practical applications that support the way you already build relationships.

Over time, small improvements in how you manage your time can create meaningful advantages in how consistently you show up.

Technology will continue to evolve. Curiosity, judgment, and trust will continue to matter more. The professionals who combine both will be well-positioned moving forward.

Lessons from the ABA White Collar Conference

One of the things I’ve been reminded of this week at the ABA White Collar Conference in San Diego is how powerful it is to meet people in person.

In a world where so much of our work happens over Zoom, email, and text messages, it’s easy to underestimate the value of simply showing up.

I almost didn’t make the trip.

Conferences require time, travel, and energy. And if we’re honest, there’s always that quiet question in the back of your mind: Will this actually be worth it?
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That said, I’m glad I came.

In one packed evening of networking receptions, I met more than a dozen clients I’ve coached whom I had never met face-to-face before.

There’s something special about that moment when you finally shake someone’s hand after months of virtual conversations. You’ve already built a relationship, but meeting in person adds a different layer of connection.

This photo captures one of those moments. It’s with a couple of clients I recently started coaching, and it was the first time we had met in person after several Zoom conversations.

We’d already spent plenty of time working together virtually, but standing there talking face-to-face felt different. The connection deepened instantly.

I also had the chance to reconnect with several clients I’ve known for years. Those conversations matter just as much. Relationships stay strong when you take the time to keep them warm.

And of course, I met several new people who may become future clients.

But the biggest reminder from the trip was simple.

Business development rarely happens sitting behind your desk. It happens when you show up. When you invest the time. When you put yourself in the room where conversations can happen.

You can’t always predict the ROI of a conference, a networking reception, or an industry event, but sometimes the biggest return comes from something very simple.
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Being there.

​One of the most common things I hear from professionals I work with sounds reasonable on the surface.

“I know I should be doing business development — staying in touch, following up, putting myself out there. I just don’t have time right now.”

They’re busy. Client work is intense. Deadlines are real. The calendar fills up fast. None of that is a surprise.
What stands out is what’s sitting underneath that response.

Most people aren’t short on time.

They’re carrying an assumption about what business development requires.

They picture long blocks of focus. A carefully worded message. The right moment. Something that feels thoughtful and polished enough to send.
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So they wait.

​And when they do finally sit down to reach out, the pressure shows up immediately.

This becomes clear when I talk with clients about simple check-ins.

I’ll suggest a short note. Something to set up a coffee or reconnect. In theory, it should take three to five minutes.

In practice, that’s rarely what happens.

The person opens a blank email and starts thinking about tone, wording, and whether it sounds too casual or too formal.

They reread it, rewrite it, step away, and come back to it later.

Twenty minutes go by. Sometimes more.

The email isn’t complicated. What slows people down is the pressure they put on themselves to get it exactly right.

In many cases, the email still doesn’t get sent.

That’s how progress stalls. People aren’t avoiding the work. They’re trying to avoid discomfort.

Business development doesn’t reward polish. It rewards progress.

I’ve watched far more opportunities die from silence than from imperfect outreach. An email that never gets sent does far more damage than one that isn’t perfectly worded.

Here’s the part that matters most. Confidence doesn’t show up before action. It shows up because of action. You don’t think your way into momentum. You move your way into it.
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This is something I see repeatedly in my coaching and explore in greater depth in my upcoming book, The Business Development Shift.

​It happens when reaching out to clients, prospects, or referral sources. It also happens when building internal alliances, strengthening relationships across teams, or connecting with colleagues who could become long-term advocates.

The same questions surface:
Is this the right time?
Is this the right message?
Will this feel awkward or self-serving?
Do I have something valuable enough to say?

So they wait.

While they’re thinking, the opportunity quietly moves on, whether that opportunity is a client conversation or a stronger internal relationship that never quite gets off the ground.

Here’s the irony. The same intelligence that makes you great at your work can work against you in business development.
BD rarely fails because people don’t know what to do. It fails because they wait until it feels comfortable.

It almost never does.

The professionals who build strong, consistent practices or careers aren’t more confident or more polished. They’re more willing to act before everything feels perfectly lined up.

They send the note.

They make the introduction.

They check in without an agenda.

They do it externally, and they do it internally.

Not because they have it all figured out, but because they understand something important.

Momentum beats perfection.

If business development has been sitting on your mental to-do list, here’s a simple gut check for this week:
What’s one low-pressure outreach, to a client, a referral source, or a colleague, that you’ve been overthinking and could simply do instead?

No pitch.

No expectations.

Just curiosity and consistency.
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That’s where progress actually starts.

​Every January, we watch the same thing play out during the NFL playoffs.

A star player has a great game. The cameras follow them. The highlights run all week.

But no one actually believes that one player wins a playoff game alone.

You don’t have to be a sports fan to know this is true. Complex outcomes are always the result of coordinated effort.

It takes protection up front. It takes teammates doing their jobs. It takes trust, timing, and adjustment in real time.
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In other words, it takes a team.

​What’s interesting is how quickly we forget that lesson in professional services.

I see a lot of senior associates and junior partners trying to build a practice quietly and independently. They do strong work. They stay in their lane. They assume results will speak for themselves.

But practices don’t grow in isolation.

Most opportunities come from:

• colleagues who trust you and pull you into conversations
• partners who see you as additive, not territorial
• external collaborators who expand what you can offer a client

If your internal reputation is solid but siloed, your external pipeline will reflect that.

And collaboration breaks down when it’s vague.

“Let’s collaborate sometime” rarely leads anywhere. Real collaboration starts with clarity and intention.

This week’s tip:

Stop thinking about collaboration as a one-off event and start thinking about it as an alliance strategy.

This week:

• Identify two or three internal colleagues who could be strong allies over time
• Identify one or two external contacts who complement what you do

Then take one small step:

• Invite one of them into a conversation
• Ask how you can support something they’re working on
• Or simply reconnect with curiosity and no agenda

You don’t build trust the week you need it. You build it quietly, over time, long before the game is on the line.

​That’s how strong teams win, and it’s how strong practices are built.

​The last couple of weeks gave me a good reminder of something I don’t say often enough.
It’s okay to step away.

We hosted family here in the mountains over Christmas, and we got lucky. Snow falling throughout the day. Quiet. The kind of white Christmas that feels like you’re inside a snow globe. No rushing anywhere. Just being together.

Then my wife, Aja, and I took the kids to San Diego to spend the last week of the year with her family. And for once, I really disconnected. No half-working. No checking email just in case. I was present with them and gave myself permission to be off without guilt.

Now I’m back, rested, clear-headed, and starting the year with full batteries.
​
That reset made me think about what I see with a lot of professionals in early January.

​They come back carrying a low-level sense of guilt. About

• Outreach that didn’t happen.
• Momentum that slowed.
• Feeling like they should already be further along.

The pause isn’t the problem. Most people needed it.

What gets in the way is the idea that you have to make up for lost time. That January requires a big push, a perfect plan, or some dramatic restart to get back on track.

It doesn’t.

Momentum usually comes back the same way it started. Quietly.

• One thoughtful note to a client you’ve been meaning to check in with.
• One coffee scheduled for later this month.
• One genuine question sent without an agenda.

That’s enough to put you back in the conversation.

I’ve noticed that people who struggle to restart often wait until they feel organized or caught up. But that feeling tends to show up after you take action, not before.

As I start sharing more of the thinking behind my book ahead of its March 3 launch, I keep coming back to this idea.

Consistency isn’t about never stopping. It’s about knowing how to step back in without overthinking it or judging yourself for the pause.

This week, don’t try to make up for anything. Don’t apologize for taking a break. Don’t turn this into a project.

Take one small step back into the conversation.

What to take away from this
Rest doesn’t erase momentum. Overthinking does.

How to act on it
Pick one simple BD action you can do today. Send one note. Set one meeting. Ask one real question. Then stop there.
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You don’t need urgency; you just need to move.

Every great team understands the same unglamorous truth. Championships aren't won by superstars alone. They're won by depth. They're won by preparation. They're won by the people who weren't supposed to be in the spotlight but step into it anyway.

That’s the “next player up” mentality.

When someone goes down, the team doesn’t panic. They don’t lower expectations. They don’t rewrite goals. The next player steps in, ready to contribute, because the standard never changes.
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It sends a clear cultural signal:
We don’t depend on a few heroes. We depend on all of us.

You don’t need to be a sports fan to appreciate this.

Take the San Francisco 49ers, one of the NFL’s most consistently competitive teams. Their identity is built on preparation, high performance, and a system that elevates whoever steps on the field.

This season tested that system like never before.

They’ve had four of their All-Pro players miss major stretches of the year, along with a long list of other starters. At times, half the expected lineup was out.

Most teams would have unraveled.

The 49ers didn’t. They adapted. They trusted their depth.

Players who were never supposed to carry the load kept the season alive.

This isn’t a story about a season that fell apart. It’s still unfolding.

Despite all the injuries, the 49ers are still in the hunt, on track for a winning season and a real playoff push.

Their consistency hasn’t come from star power alone. It’s the product of a strong culture and exceptional coaching, the kind that keeps standards high no matter who steps on the field.

Now zoom out to professional services.

Many firms unintentionally build the opposite culture. They rely on a small group of rainmakers to fuel the entire pipeline. Twenty percent of partners generate most of the opportunities. Everyone else stays on the sideline waiting to be fed work.
It creates fragility.

It puts enormous pressure on a small group of people.

And it prevents the firm from building the depth needed for consistent growth.
But imagine a team where:

• Senior associates ask better questions in client meetings
• New partners build steady outreach habits
• Thoughtful attorneys send meaningful follow-ups
• Practice leaders introduce colleagues to their networks with intention

None of these require a rainmaker personality.

They’re the BD version of a prepared backup making the right play at the right time.
Small contributions, consistently delivered, change the season.

Here’s what often gets overlooked:

Superstars don’t sustain revenue. It’s sustained by cultures where everyone contributes something.
Firms that embrace this mindset become more resilient.

Pipelines stabilize.

Opportunities multiply.

And the practice stops depending on a handful of individual performers.

As a 49ers fan, this season has been inspiring. It would have been easy to mail it in. Too many injuries. Too many missing stars. Too many built-in excuses.

But they didn’t. They stayed competitive. They kept finding ways to win. And they showed what’s possible when everyone buys into the same standard.

The lesson applies to all of us. You don’t need to follow football to appreciate what happens when a group of professionals steps up when things get tough.

When more people choose to contribute…

When BD stops being the job of the same 20 percent…

When someone quietly decides, “I can help move this forward”…

The whole team gets stronger.

The 49ers reminded us of something simple: depth matters.

If you want your practice or your firm to grow, look for one way you can elevate your role and become a more consistent contributor this week.
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Small steps. Shared responsibility.

That’s how teams win more games, and it’s how firms create lasting growth.

When I started my consulting and coaching practice nine years ago, I set up my website with a blog section. I did it because I thought that was what credible coaches were supposed to do. Write articles. Share ideas. Build authority.

There was one problem. I could not bring myself to write the first post.

I was not sure if I would be any good at writing. I was not sure if I would enjoy it. I kept waiting for the perfect idea and the perfect draft. That approach kept me stuck for more than a year.

At one point, I even asked my webmaster to hide the blog link in the navigation bar because it sat there empty. The truth was simple. I was trying to avoid the feeling of not being good enough.
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Most professionals do the same thing. They wait for confidence that never comes.

Looking back, I see what was really happening. I was waiting to feel ready before I took action. But confidence does not work that way. It shows up after you start, not before.

I see this every week in my coaching work. Smart people hesitate. They want perfect timing and perfect language. Weeks pass. Then months. The hesitation becomes a habit, and the habit becomes the story they tell themselves.

Confidence grows in a different direction. It grows through small, consistent actions. One step creates a small win. That small win creates a little confidence. That confidence fuels the next step. The loop continues.

A partner I coached learned this firsthand. He went to a conference and had a few good conversations. Nothing happened right away, so he decided the whole thing had been a waste of time.

Eighteen months later, one of those conversations turned into a six-figure engagement.

Momentum is quiet at the beginning. You do not see results right away. But the work is happening underneath.

Action creates clarity. Clarity creates confidence.

With Thanksgiving around the corner, this is a natural week for a simple touch point. A small step is all you need to restart your rhythm.

Here is the ironic part. I once hid my blog because I was not sure I had anything worth saying. Today, that same blog holds years of stories, lessons, and small moments that shaped my practice.

Many of those early articles also shaped the ideas in my first book, The Business Development Shift: How to Win Clients Through Intellectual Curiosity and Consistency, which launches in March.

I did not build any of that through confidence. I built it one small step at a time. You can do the same.

Do not wait to feel ready.

Take the step.
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Let the confidence meet you along the way.

Most professionals treat pricing conversations like a test they’re about to fail.

Here’s what changes when you stop defending and start asking.

A bankruptcy lawyer once faced a client with a budget of $250,000, well below what the engagement would normally cost. He had two choices: push for full scope or walk away.

Instead, he got curious.

He asked what outcomes mattered most, helped the client prioritize, and designed a hybrid solution that fit the budget.
He didn’t make as much on that first project, but he earned something far more valuable: trust. The client came back with multiple matters worth ten times the initial fee.
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When you bring curiosity and transparency into pricing, the conversation stops being a negotiation and starts becoming the foundation of a partnership.

Anchor Price to Client Value, Not Your Effort

Most professionals ask, “What should I charge?”

Flip it. Ask, “What’s this worth to the client?”

Get curious about what they truly value:

• “What impact will solving this have on your business?”
• “If this doesn’t get addressed, what’s the cost of inaction?”

A corporate lawyer once discovered that her $ 50,000 project was solving a $2 million compliance problem. She raised her price, and the client thanked her for the clarity.

When you link your price to outcomes instead of hours, clients can feel the difference. Your focus stays on their success, not your rate.

Use “What If” Questions to Prevent Scope Creep

Scope creep kills trust. The antidote is curiosity.

Ask “what if” questions before assumptions harden:

• “What if the board accelerates the timeline by two months? Do we pause other work or bring in  help?”
• “What if the regulatory landscape shifts halfway through the project? Do we adjust the plan, expand the team, or reset the timeline?”

These aren’t hypotheticals. They’re the conversations that separate vendors from partners. You’re showing foresight and helping make sure the project actually succeeds.

Shift from Cost Comparison to Context Comparison

When clients push back on price, resist the reflex to defend or discount.

Get curious instead:

“Can you share what you’re comparing this to?”

That one question moves the conversation from price anxiety to problem-solving. It creates space to explain your approach transparently and often turns a tense moment into a trust-building one.

Next Step

Before your next proposal, ask one more question about what success looks like to them. See what changes.
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This is one of several mindset shifts I explore in my new book, The Business Development Shift. If this approach resonates, the book goes deeper into how curiosity reshapes client relationships, from first contact to long-term partnership.