Be Socially Aware

Photo by August de Richelieu

​It was 2015 on a business trip in Dallas. I was the sales leader at the time for a national consulting firm. The trip was an opportunity to meet with the BD team in that office and see them in action. One of my youngest rising stars, Jim, was excited to take me out to lunch with one of his promising client prospects.

On the way to the restaurant, I asked Jim what he knew about the prospect whose name was Frank. He told me the basics – title, role, how long he had been at the company. Not much else. He promised me that we would learn more about Frank at lunch.

When we sat down at lunch, we exchanged pleasantries and ordered lunch. Frank was an older gentleman who had been around the block. I could see in his eyes and body posture that he was evaluating us, especially Jim. Jim started asking questions, which was fine. Jim then pulled out a writing block and pen and started taking copious notes of the conversation. A move that would be more natural in a conference room but not in a restaurant. Frank eventually barked at Jim “put that notepad away! This is not an interview. Let’s have a conversation without me feeling like I am talking to a reporter.”

Jim turned red in the face and quickly put away his “reporter’s gear.” I chuckled at how unaware Jim was in that meeting. He did very little homework on Frank prior to our lunch. He asked Frank a host of typical questions but didn’t really digest the answers and challenge any of them. Jim understood the importance of asking questions but didn’t turn Frank’s answers into an engaging conversation.

More importantly, he didn’t observe in the first 5-10 minutes of the conversation that Frank was someone who wanted to do business with someone he could trust and get along with. He was looking for a trusted advisor, not a “yes” person.

Jim, on the other hand, wanted to please Frank. He focused on asking him questions and telling him what he thought Frank wanted to hear. A costly mistake on building trust and credibility.

So much of business development stems from social and personal awareness. Understanding your surroundings and the type of person with whom you are meeting can not only affect how you are going to conduct the conversation, but also how well you will be able to build a trusting relationship.
 
Jim did everything he could at that lunch meeting to salvage the conversation, however he lost Frank in the first 5 minutes. He learned a valuable lesson that every business development conversation will be different based on the person and the surroundings. I have seen too many professionals stick with one approach which might work in some situations but backfires on others. Having the social awareness and flexibility to adapt with every business development event and prospect can be the difference between success and failure in growing a business.
 
Ask yourself the next time you are in a business development conversation if in the first 5-10 minutes you are evaluating your contact and surroundings, or thinking about yourself and what you want to say. That subtle mindset shift can make all the difference in how your conversation goes.