Don't Put the Cart Before the Horse

I was sitting in front of an important prospective client with my colleague who was in town visiting for a few days from our Chicago office. My colleague was a seasoned partner who I assumed was good in front of clients. “No need to prep him for this meeting.” I thought. Mistake number one.
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The client, my colleague, and I exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes, and then it began. My colleague switched gears and said, “well, I assume we are meeting today to talk about me and my experience…”

It was a train wreck happening in slow motion. He went on for 25 painful minutes talking about how great he and our firm were. I sat there stunned and did not interrupt. Mistake number two.

The client started to check out. I could see it in his eyes. He nodded politely, but I was sure he was thinking about when he needed to pick up his kids from school, and anything else beside what was coming out of my colleagues’ mouth.
It was the last time I ever had a meeting with that client. This happened 15 years ago yet it stays with me like it happened yesterday.

I understand how this can happen. Whenever someone wants to impress the other person, they often jump right in and start talking about themselves first before learning about the other person. It is a knee jerk reaction that can happen in any professional or personal conversation.

I call this putting the cart before the horse.

It is often difficult to make the right impression when talking about yourself first. How about flipping it around. Let the other person talk about themselves first. Learn what is on their mind and what is important to them.

Once you learn about them and the spotlight shines on you, you can be more on point in the conversation and discuss topics that are of interest to the client.

Now you have an engaging conversation!

The train wreck I experienced with my colleague and the prospective client was a lesson I will never forget. I could have potentially prevented the conversation from derailing by better preparing my colleague prior to the conversation, and tactfully interrupting him 10 minutes into his autobiography. Instead, I made assumptions that he knew what he was doing with regards to BD meetings which cost me a client.
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The moral of the story – listening and learning first will make a much bigger impression than you think.